Spontaneous Prose, Experiment No. 4

First it is a sound on the stairs, a sound coming down the stairs, and then around the corner it is a boy, a small boy it is you. Around the couch, the two-couch. I am up and coming to meet you before you are around this couch and I realize your little brother woke you up. Yes he did you say when I ask. Back around the couch now, that couch I could lie on end to end and curl my toes and touch the arm with my head at the other end, yes back around and then we are on another couch. You must have climbed up because I only remember us sitting together and never carrying you no not carrying. On the couch now sitting up on two pillows with a little gap between us and your little arm on the arm of the couch with your feet dangling not really off the edge but off the edge of the pillows. And there should be your mom but there isn't there is just me and do you know where she is? Now I can see how tired you are, and how strong you are and she is at the hospital giving birth to your baby sister and again you are just so tired. There is only one light on in the room and it is soft. Bright enough to read and I was reading or starting to read because tonight how could anyone sleep and I think you agree. And you want a stuffed animal but I can't find the right one so we decide to read a book. Tonight is a night for reading and waiting and not sleeping and so all we can do with ourselves is find a book and in the end we find three. We are sitting again with a little space and two pillows and before I had my arm behind you but now I am holding the books and we are reading the first one. There was a moment in the stillness where I knew I loved you the most. Now we are both yawning and I have some heartburn and it is slow reading but we are both doing our best. We fold into each other during the second book and I almost think you might fall asleep here on the couch but then it is The End and there is a third book and we are sitting apart again. This book is a poem and at the end there is a song and across the room is a piano but I don't bring it up and now I think it is time for bed. And up the stairs we go but do you want to walk up or do you want to be carried. Carried but in your room you want to climb the ladder to your bunk. Holding you now it is not like holding you before it is a sleepy hug and a softness and then you have an owl and I am pulling up your new quilt. Up to your chin and you curl in your feet and there is just so much bed and so little boy and there is a memory of crawling the length of a bed under the covers and being hidden or of hiding the world and the bed was a world and it is good night.